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In some situations we act on an impulse. In others, by instinct. In the majority of cases we are able to choose which attitude to be taken and in some cases we just go for what is right. But up to what point are we able to look after ourselves? Sometimes, when we have a few options to choose from, some signals appear telling us the path we should follow through.

Want an example? You may have spent most of your life as a pretty gal´s best friend. She tells you stuff and visits the movies with you while you share a bag of popcorn. Is she that irresistible you cannot control yourself and you want to kiss her? It is okay being friends with a woman, really!

If you still don´t see it that way, know it it´s normal. Human beings are constantly after new goals and emotions. There´s always a price to pay, though.

You know when you go out with an old pal and he is accompanied by a pretty lady who isn´t really a date and with whom you feel comfortable with? So comfortable both of you cannot stop talking and laughing and realizing how much in common you have. And then your friend is looking at you with a strange expression and you´re worried about him, but you are also into that girl and want to keep chatting with her. In this case, what do you do? Do you keep your friend or go for the girl he´s after?

Some things just happen and it´s not always we have an easy choice to make. We don´t always have clear answers about them either. Is it worth risking your emotional balance for vanity? This balance stops existing when, for example, you are finally cured from your last break-up and bam, you meet her at the supermarket. Some people should walk around with a sign which said ´trouble´. No one is immune to situations like these and they usually happen when you least expect it. How do you act? What do you do? And most important: how do you feel?

The impression us women have about the male behavior is that you can´t – and won´t – deny going out with a girl if she´s attractive. What we ask is: why?

The truth is, I believe we actually know the answer. We are never satisfied and we are constantly looking for some spicy moments to change our routine. Women are like that, too. We can´t help it. But it is important to respect our limits  - whether they are visible or not.

Vanity is a sin and sometimes can cause serious damage if we can´t control it properly. Knowing how to say ´no´ is sometimes all it takes for you to get rid of a big nasty problem. Saying no is defining your limits. It´s okay to do it – no matter what others will think or say about you. It´s about YOU we are talking about and about YOUR well-being.

Many complicated stories end up in amazing relationships, but if you don´t actually know how to deal with it, you may find a rough path ahead. Think about it, take your time and check if it´s worth it. Maybe it´s time to being alone for some time and investing in yourself, doing all those things you wanted to do as a single man. And remember: freedom is great stuff! Just take care so you won´t become addicted to it.



Mariana Goulart